Something new for my resume?

I've done some crazy jobs in my life. When I was 8, I picked beans for 10 hours one Sunday. Bent over the North Queensland red dirt, in the blazing sun for 10 hours, I managed to get severe sunburn on the patch of skin exposed between my 'choose life' hyper-colour shirt and my denim short shorts, an incredibly sore back and a days pay of $7! That's right. $7. I'm still a little outraged about it today. My parents encouraged their farming friends to enslave us.

Between school and uni I looked for less back breaking, more sun-smart ways of earning a dollar and spent most summers packing mangos. Remarkably, I still love mangoes despite the sap burns, varicose veins and industrial deafness I now have from long days spent standing over the top of sorting machines pushing the good manges forward and the bad ones into a bin behind me. Which, by the way, is the reason you will NEVER see my imbibe a mango juice...

For $10 an hour, I then offered my fingers to the gentle tapping of a Mitre 10 till. The woman who offered me the job thought I'd be good on a till because I wanted to be an engineer and therefore knew how to use a calculator??? Her logic, not mine... Working in a hardware shop was fun for a while. Strangely it's the only job I've been asked for a 1000 screws. (roofing of course .. tut tut ..). After a while I got sick of giggling when sorting the plumbing supplies into male and female categories or adaptors!!! Don't get me started on using the shop intercom system for prices on grease nipples... 

At uni I took a job with a catering company. First they put me in a food prep area where I had to distribute platters of grossly overpriced, soggy chips and prawn cutlets to the boxes at Manly Oval. We all know that rugby league fans are not too discerning but the platters were horrific and I swear I picked up more chips and prawn cutlets off the ground than what was loaded on-the platters originally. Oh and to add insult to injury, I had to wear a short black skirt and white top. Ghastly.

Thankfully, the catering company was quick to notice my lack of finesse in a short skirt and my inability to manufacture a smile of 'yum yum here comes your expensive catering' when entering the box so they put me on the hill. Best job ever! I got to walk over the grassy slopes of Manly Oval yelling "2 buck beers". Men would swarm, (ok stagger) over, hand me sweaty coins in consideration of lukewarm Tooheys that I'd been carrying around like an ice cream vendor at the movies. 

Then there is 20 or so years in mining... That's the topic of many other blogs... In summary though, very similar to my formative roles - still filled with sweaty blokes, sunburn and using a calculator. Only paid a lot better.

On Friday I found a job even more demeaning than being a child slave, mango sorter, screw counter and beer seller at the footy.

I modelled. 

Oh the horror. 

It wasn't even for charity.

It was because I can't say no. 

The night before I hardly slept and wondered if it was too late to:

1. go on a diet
2. shape my eyebrows
3. buy spanks for my hips, thighs, tummy, back, butt ... do they do the fadoobadas?
4. get a new hairdo
5. some cosmetic surgery - nothing major - just eye lift, wrinkle filler, dermabrasion and liposuction.

Sick with fear, I ate a pulled pork burger, drank a glass of wine and consoled myself in the fact that the organisers had kindly set me up with a make up artist for the event. Perhaps she'd have the make up artistry to make me look less middle aged, middle sized mining mum and more long luscious catwalk vamp...unfortunately no.

The details of the event are too raw to share but let me confess that it involved:

1. leggings
2. oversized jumpers
3. multiple changes in a storeroom with women I barely know 
4. tantrums ... mainly mine... 
5. strutting along, to the right, pivot, to the front, smile, pivot, strut left, swinging jacket over shoulder and strutting off

I did this sober. Ok I had a glass of ridiculously cheap sweet sparkling wine before hand. Just to settle my nerves. 

That night, well after the event, with nerves settled, comfy pants and shoes, I did a bit of reflection. Maybe it wasn't so bad? Maybe I did look like a groovy mumma? So I took some selfies of me doing my very best blue steel...

Nope... No chance... My agent has been told to divert the calls back to Jennifer/Giselle/Renee. I'm sticking to mining engineering, consulting in diversity, charm and witty banter.

  

School holidays

They are nearly over. Phew.  In less than 48 hrs, I'll be back in the glorious routine of making lunches, dropping off, picking up, reading stories, bathing and putting to bed. My 'bad mum' performance anxiety will be over. Bring it on.

I used to love school holidays. When I was a kid they were great. Of course. As a grown up without kids, they were great. I always knew when NOT to plan a holiday or go to the shops. 

Now, as a Mum, they terrify me. They give me performance anxiety. 15 whole days of entertaining and I fail dismally. Well according to my kids I fail. They gladly helped with a list of things I have NOT done for them this break:

1. We didn't make pop lollies... I don't know what they are either.
2. The eldest didn't get to the zoo.
3. I didn't download Harry Potter until day 13.
4. We didn't go on a family caravanning or camping holiday (thank goodness!)
5. I didn't buy them a pet kitten, pony, fish, hermit crabs or guinea pigs!

(Never mind that they had their body weight in babycino's and ice creams and saw about 47 episodes of Deadly 60). They have forgotten about the good things...

I made the mistake of taking notice of the things my friends (and their peers) were up to. Oh the guilt. We didn't go near a museum, science centre or animal park. I had a half hearted attempt to organise a play date but it fell through. So what did I do? 

I let them be bored. Yep. In fact I encouraged it. Most days. 

No craft, no tv, no me. Just each other to amuse. I'd like to think that this was great development for their imaginations. That they came up with creative games and thoughts to stimulate their little brains. That they built cubbies, tree houses and rafts. Just like Huck and Tom...

Unfortunately they didn't. 

There were moments of sweet togetherness but they came down to a shared love of Peppa Pig and only one ipad charged up. The rest of the time they could be found torturing:

1. Each other,
2. Me or their father,
3. The dog
4. Or all of the above.

I took them on a walk once and they found a tree in the river. I found a coffee. It was win win for a few minutes and I took a photo to prove it. For a few precious minutes the school holidays were brilliant!

Performance reviews

Tuesday will be my last official day with Rio Tinto. To every one of the many people I have had the pleasure of working with since graduation, thanks for the laughs, education and experiences. I'm moving on with wisdom and excitement shaped by knowing all of you. 

Rio was a brilliant company to work for and like most large organisations, they have all the policies, procedures, benefits, rewards, systems, processes to manage their huge workforce. Note the word 'manage'... Wedging a workforce into the confines of these rules is probably a necessity. There are 1000's to cater for, constantly changing regulatory environments and a vast array of roles. Outside the loving arms of Rio (and most other large organisations)  you start to miss having a rule book to play by. There is one procedure I wont miss though... Not one bit...

Performance reviews...

Even writing the term fills me with unease. Over my career I have given far more reviews than I received. It doesn't matter which side of the table I sit, I find the experience completely disengaging. Here's why:

1. The distribution curve. Doesn't it simply force you to keep a few underachievers on your team? For every poor performing employee, you theoretically (and practically in many cases) are entitled to reward a high achiever? Then you simply tell everyone else that they 'meet expectations' .Great organisations can't afford to hold on to poor performers or demoralise the vast majority who are doing every thing you want (meeting expectations by definition).
2. Studies have shown that organisational and quality improvements are poorly correlated with individual performance assessments. In fact, some studies have shown a detrimental performance in quality . So it begs the question: if individual performance ratings are not positively impacting the bottom line, could there be a more motivating process for engaging employees?
3. Giving someone a number once or twice a year that is completely aligned to their pay rise and bonus promotes an environment of ticking boxes, working to pre-defined KPI's and lacks the creativity and flexibility we actually want from our teams. 
4. Self rating is no-win: If you rate yourself poorly, your leader is likely to leave you low, question your ambition and save some high scores for distribution among the squeaky wheels. If you rate yourself highly, your leader has to spend the whole conversation dredging up work you did not do well to knock you down a few points.
5. They are one sided. Your review depends on the view of your leader. His review depends of the view of his leader and so on. At no stage, does the vast majority of the workforce get to evaluate the performance of their leaders...

Don't get me wrong. I firmly believe in individual accountability. I want to see financial reward for hard work. I just happen to think that there has to be better ways of dealing with the humans in our organisations. So I did some research...

This time last week I had not even heard of a little Australian IT company called Atlassian. From what I have read and seen of this great team, I've become a fan. Their 5 values speak volumes and I get excited about a future where other, larger organisations think like this:

So what did Atlassian do about Performance Reviews?

1. They kept the constructive bits of performance reviews like specific meetings to discuss performance and threw out the un-constructive bits around ratings and distributions curves.
2. They stopped paying performance bonuses and instead pay top market salaries for the brightest and hardest working in their fields. Bonuses are based on the organisations performance.
3. Continuous discussions through the year including 360 degree reviews, long term aspirations, barriers and focus areas.
4. Increased focus on behaviours with two axis ratings on effort and results.

It sounds simple and I sure hope it works. Good luck Atlassian, I like what you are doing and for this years performance score I give you 'Exceeds Expectations'!

For more information on Altassians performance reviews see http://www.managementexchange.com/story/atlassians-big-experiment-performance-reviews

The Harlem Shake...

Thanks to 15 or so unfortunate (unwise?) miners, I now know what the Harlem Shake is... Given that the guys are looking for jobs, lawyers or new identities, it might be a bit too early to comment on that particular event. So I won't...  much more...

While it's too early to comment on that event, it seems that I am too late to comment on the Harlem Shake in general. The internet is soooo over the Harlem Shake fad. Here's the proof:

http://www.google.com/trends/explore#q=harlem%20shake&date=today%203-m&cmpt=q

Note: The miners uploaded to YouTube right at the top of the trend. That's cool.

Devastatingly it provides the graphical evidence that I am not cool. The Harlem Shake had started its death spiral downward by the time I got on board. Thank goodness I kept my clothes on.

How cool is Google Trends though?

In an effort to be more cool. I have done a bit of research and compared a few topics that entertain, amuse and make news:

Sheryl Sandberg - of Lean In fame
Lindsay Lohan - of ???? fame?
PSY - Gangnam Style
Harlem Shake
Rio Tinto

http://www.google.com/trends/explore#q=harlem%20shake%2C%20lindsay%20lohan%2C%20rio%20tinto%2C%20sheryl%20sandberg%2C%20gangnam%20style&date=today%2012-m&cmpt=q

The standings?

Gangnam Style was cooler for longer and, as far as I know, no miners were sacked for riding fake ponies. (Although I would strongly recommend that that they don't say 'Eh - sexy lady' at work. Being the only decipherable English words in the whole song it might be tempting but definitely very uncool.)

Harlem Shake was the coolest at its best but you had to be quick and got uncool very quickly when soldiers and miners lost their jobs. 

Lindsay Lohan is way cooler than Rio Tinto or Sheryl Sandberg...

Quite odd given that one is a Harvard grad and the CEO of Facebook and the other made $15.5 BILLION last year.

It's interesting to note (well to me anyway) that Rio Tinto got a lot more interesting when Tom Albanese stepped down and Lindsay Lohan got a lot more interesting when she missed a plane to LA.

Fun at work?

Previous Blogs have recommended having fun at work. I've even provided a few tips. 

Just keep your clothes on and follow the safety requirements. 

One thing I can't criticise the miners on though... was their level of cool. They caught the peak of the Harlem Shake fad. If they can pick stocks the same way, they don't need to worry about returning to work at the mines. Their future lies in spotting trends and letting the rest of us know what's cool.

Enjoy a laugh?

Passion #16: Laughing.

God I love a laugh. More than, well ahem, doesn't matter... I just love a laugh.

All sorts of laughs. From the, I get it simple chuckle; to the that joke was TOTALLY inappropriate but bloody funny hope no one is watching laugh; and the, can’t believe I am witnessing / doing / hearing this nervous laugh. But there is a laugh that beats a beautiful wine, better than shaved truffles, more enjoyable than night swimming or sleeping children. This laugh hurts. It makes you cry. Your breathing stops. Your belly seizes and it can't be stopped. You just have to laugh through the pain and oxygen starvation until it's over.

Not everyone is a great laugher. In fact, some find it quite impossible. The dear Propeller Head for example: I like to think that he is married to an intelligent, good looking funny gal. He agrees but do you think I can get a rip-roaring laugh out of him? No. In fact, I recently made a terrible discovery about him. He does laugh... but not at me...

I was at a work function one night and returned home to a darkened house, lit pale blue with the digital signal from channel 10. There in front of the TV, my darling husband of 9 years was found splitting his sides in laughter. Having never done it for me before, I was intrigued. I crept up behind him, keen to share this beautiful moment and discovered him rolling on his sides laughing hysterically. The cause of this magnificent happiness? 

RUSSELL BRAND! 

WTF? 

It's taken me a while to come to terms with the fact that the Propeller Head laughs – at a sex-craved dandy in skinny jeans. But after much research, soul searching and acceptance, I've come to the point where I'll happily watch him laugh for another. Sometimes I'll even join in... Because laughing is good for you – especially in the office.

Here are my top 5 reasons for laughing while you work:

1.   Work IS insane. There are people, meetings and training courses that defy logic and common sense. But, “against the assault of laughter nothing can stand,” said Mark Twain. He was spot on. Your anger and frustration will be wasted on a ship of fools so laugh at the nonsense of the modern day workplace.

2.   Laughter helps you lose weight. Ok so this one is a bit dubious. I found it on Dr Kataria’s Laughter Yoga International page. Surely a reputable source?

3.   Humour solves problems. It does. Think about all you know about diversity. If a problem can be seen from a new angle and with objectivity, surely the range of solutions opens up?

4.   Humour reduces turnover and absenteeism. Here is another dodgy internet fact for you: Only 15% of people are sacked for being poor performers. The other 85% are sacked for not having the people skills and ability to relate to others. Humour brings people together.

5.   Fun improves performance and engagement. I understand this intuitively but when I did my research, I actually discovered that a study of Canadian financial institutions found that managers with the highest employee performance outcomes were more likely to use humour in the workplace.

So it’s for the greater good, that I try to illicit a small laugh (or even just a smirk) when I write some of my blogs. If you are reading this at work, feel confident that you are not wasting time: You are dealing with the insanity of work, losing weight, solving problems, being engaged and performing at a high level.

Should you have made it to through my 600-ish words and not laughed, you’ll be in good company. The Propeller Head, just pointed me to Goats that sound like Humans on u-tube. I didn't laugh much but, then again, I don’t find Russell Brand funny either.

Busy networking?

Three weeks since I packed my desk and left corporate life (for a while at least). EVERYONE I meet is asking how I am enjoying my 'life of leisure?' Including the propeller head ... daily... "I've had no time for 'leisure'" is my standard response. The propeller head then comes back with something about too many coffees and lunches... He's right. There have been a lot of coffees and lunches but I have loved catching up with so many old friends and new. The truth is I have been busy busy busy 'networking'.

That's right. What he sees as social events and gossip, I see as an investment in the future... The seeds of a plan for life-after-Rio are starting to come together but I need to test my thinking. What better way than to catch up over a caffeinated drink, some stories  and a bite to eat.

He's still a little dubious of my motives, so I did some research on networking just to be sure. This is what was recommended at successwomensnetwork.com.au. Surely a trusted source?

What the ‘experts’ say.	What I am doing
Prepare – marketing material / name badge / business cards and your elevator speech (template sent with your welcome email)	In progress… I spent 6 hours last week trying to work out how to add some social icons to my email signature. Anyone?
Come early and leave late	50%. I was early at two functions and late for 2.
Work the room	Easy. Always on the lookout for coffee, wine, loos.
Act like the host and not the guest i.e welcome new people	Easy. Ask for more wine, coffee, canapés whenever there is a lull in conversation.
Sit next to someone you don’t know (remember their name)	50%. I sat next to someone I didn’t know but have forgotten their name. Must work on this one.
Follow up after the networking events – emails, catch ups, social media etc	Yes. I even Twittered (???) at one event…
Book a meeting at every meeting	We always promise to catch up again soon.
Be proactive – invite clients to attend events / online forum / articles / social media shout outs.	Not yet… No clients… or business…
HAVE FUN AND REMEMBER THE MORE YOU GIVE, THE MORE YOU GAIN	Of course.

By my reckoning that's 7 out of 9 when evaluated against networking tips form the experts. Take that propeller head. 

Thanks for all your advice and chats everyone. It's been a great few weeks and my plans are coming together nicely.

Business Improvement ... for the home ...

This 'career break' is tiring. Honest. I am busy busy busy. On what? Well I am not sure. There have been no sleep ins, no boozy lunches, and my plans for more blogs, being a better Mum, writing the great Australian novel and world domination are way behind. How did this happen? 

Well I am busy doing stuff... 

I'd quite happily stay like this because, frankly, I am loving the coffee catch-ups, chatting to old friends and new and reading the news daily but I had a conversation earlier in the week that I know will set BI hearts aflutter...

I'm putting up my very own Information Centre. Yep - that's right, a 'lean' board right here at home sweet home. It will come complete with metrics (safety, environment, social, financial and family), gantt charts, action lists, post-it notes and different coloured pens. 

My wasted minutes, rework and non-value add activities are in for some serious scrutiny.

Unfortunately the lean board brilliance was not my idea. I shamelessly borrowed it off a friend that had her own 'career break' last year (thanks KS). She's way smarter and more organised than me... 

Establishing an Information Centre is not for the feint hearted. (Our team developed a 70 page document to demonstrate the intricacies). But thanks to the Business Improvement (BI) teams' careful tutelage, I think I am up for it. They worked hard to educate me in the dark arts of lean, six sigma and a range of improvement methodologies. Too many years in operations and a preference for acting on my gut, made me a difficult student but they persisted and I'm thankful. They are all skilled BI professionals and they never let my complete lack of understanding in their craft inhibit our great working relationship. 

Thanks to them, I finally think I know what DMAIC is all about. Here goes:

D – Divine. That’s right. Often misheard as define. Divine can be used to describe the intervention required to get some projects off the ground (and the kids out the door in the morning).

M – Morning teas. I'm not saying that this is what I’ll miss most about working at the OC, but...

A – Airports. Late nights, early starts and possibly in between? 

I – Influencers. Each individual in the BI team worked hard to make a difference to the organisation, each other and me.

C – Challenge. Teaching me. Teach the unteachable to define, measure, analyse, improve, control, encourage, support and add great value.

Like all great BI projects, I am going to spend the right amount of time in the planning phase. I've raided the draws, hit office works and found a wall space. Next week I might even get started on pulling it all together but the sun is well over the yard arm now and it's time for a process check.

Here are some photos of my work in progress - just to show I am serious about this... 

I've selected a wall ... the old print will have to go .....

The materials...

How to have fun in the office.

Too young for retirement, too old for backpacking, too unco for joining the circus. I'm 3 days into  'that brilliant little gap I had between fabulous jobs' and wandering around my home office looking for a bit of fun. 

So far I have:

• read 6 pages on how to change the gears on your bike
• attempted to make a paper aeroplane
• considered and then reconsidered pulling my tax paperwork together
• called a real estate agent - just 'cause I know they love a chat
• hung out 2 loads of washing
• checked facebook, linkedin, twitter and googled

Don't you dare accuse me of procrastinating though. My inability to focus on higher priority tasks is quite deliberate. I still plan on doing NOTHING for a while yet. There is one thing I miss about the office though...shhhhh.... it was sometimes fun....

Let me be clear. I didn't work in the googleplex or anything. Just a conventional open plan office. We didn't use the photocopier for shenanigans way beyond it's warranty limits. We didn't have a goofy prankster to entertain us through the climate controlled, ergonomically fitted, meeting filled hours of employment... Nope we just had a team that wanted to enjoy being at work.

Here are some of the things that gave me a laugh in the office:

1. We set up a War Room on the request of senior leaders for, well,.... a daily teleconference.. Thank goodness I didn't go through with the camo netting order.
2. The Great Cumquat Jam Making Competition of 2012. In an effort to rid myself of around 16784 kg of cumquats, I took them to work and created a competition for the most creative and best use of cumquats - complete with an expert CWA judge, fabulous prize and ribbons. Not to mention the respect and admiration of your peers.Guess who won? I swear, Shirley was completely impartial. A woman of her Royal Show judging pedigree can not be bribed... besides that would have been against Rio's code of conduct.
3. Writing left handed during dull meetings... (Not my idea but brilliant nonetheless.. Thanks RR)
4. Adding words to my corporate buzzword hate-list. Fun for a while but dispiriting in some meetings...
5. Coffee... Brilliant in all its manifestations .. Bad coffee demanded a pitching and replacement trip to the local cafe for intel and a stretch. Good coffee, made the agony of 'syndicating', 'learnings', 'boiling the ocean' and 'swings and roundabouts' almost bearable...

I'm missing the insanity of the office just a tiny winy bit... Please free to post what makes you laugh... if you require anonymity, I know a great place that has camo netting!

Passion for passion

If you've started reading this hoping for a little titillation, read on. I'll even mention 50 Shades of Grey...

A few months ago I had to take the Tax Commissioner on a tour for work. Let your minds-eye dream up what a tax commissioner looks like. Yep. You are bang on: Shortish, neatish, 50-ish man in greyish suit...

I ushered him into a conference room, offered boiled coffee and biscuits and started my usual bang-on spiel. In addition to the technical points, I waxed on about how much I loved the facility we were touring, how it was great to work with employees across the entire value stream and how passionate I was about seeing mining evolve into the 21st century. He stopped me at 'passionate'...I was confused and beginning to get a little alarmed. Was my usual passionate pitch upsetting the man responsible for the nations taxes? A little too much emotion unnerving our 50-ish man in grey?

Quite the opposite. He burst into life. He actually said that he loved hearing the word 'passionate' and it was something he encouraged in the tax office... (I'm sure he meant 'enthusiasm' and not, well ahem, 'passionate' in the photo-copy room kind... ). Knock me for six, my first impressions were completely off the mark and I immediately loved this man, who takes almost half of my salary, to bits!

It was brilliant to meet someone else passionate about passion. Today's blog pays tribute to the tax commissioner and passionistas everywhere. Engage me in a conversion and you'll quickly uncover a passion.   They are many, confused and diverse. In no particular order, here are 20 things I passionately discuss:

1. Explosives - you can take the girl out of the mines...
2. The propeller head
3. Rugged yet sophisticated men 
4. Inspirational women
5. The team I work with
6. Sharing and collaborating
7. Good manners
8. Saturday mornings
9. Baking bread
10. Drinking wine
11. Diversity
12. Flexible work
13. Seeing people grow
14. Great leadership
15. Cheese
16. Laughing
17. Technology
18. Gin and tonic
19. Riding down hill
20. ... The list goes on indefinitely...

Reading is the common link. When I am am not actually engaged in one of my passions, I love to read about them and discover more. The following books have made me laugh, cry, cringe and learn. I hope that you have enjoyed them too.

1. Where the Wild Things Are - what's better than monsters, sea voyages and hot dinner?
2. Birdsong - Miners, mud and missed opportunities,.. oh dear I might cry again.
3. Jasper Jones - The crazy dialogue of clever kids and the adventures of youth.
4. The Importance of Being Earnest - A good slapping for those that take life too seriously.
5. Breath - Risks and rushes.
6. Raising Boys - Yes I need a manual.
7. The Old Man and the Sea - Man v fish. 
8. A Confederacy of Dunces - Ignatius J Reilly is flatulent, eloquent and pretty much employable.
9. A Fraction of the Whole - Crazy schemes and inconsistency ... a story after my heart.
10. NOT 50 Shades of Grey - if there were not already books written about how appalling this one is, I'd write them. 

So go ahead and enjoy your passions. Pick up a book, tickle your kids, tell a dirty joke, pour a good drink or get stuck into that project and be passionate about it!

The excitement of resigning...

What a lovely bunch of friends, colleagues, curious individuals and others you are!

I have had the most amazing responses to my last blog on resigning.There have been four distinct themes to your emails and calls:

1. Outright curiousity .... No one can understand why I would quit a decent job, with a decent company, on decent conditions in a decent industry. Sorry folks... I am still working on the answer to that one.
2. Blessing and confirmation on the expressions I want to avoid .... It's time for a confession now... (shhhhhhh .....) I have actually uttered the words 'learnings' and 'syndicate' in earnest. So ubiquitous is their use, I failed my very own challenge. I'm appalled at my behaviour when 'lessons' and 'discuss' would have been perfectly suitable alternatives. The universe has never spoken to me before, but I take this transgression as further proof that I really have to move on from the loving arms of my current organisation.
3. Shared excitement ....I am starting to notice a lot of articles and participating in a lot of discusisons about the benefits of change and resigning. The article below jumped out of my twitter feed. 6-big-reasons-why-you-should-quit-your-job-and-follow-your-passion. I latched onto the 'big reasons why you should should quit' bit. Having numerous, confused and obsure passions, I am not sure which to follow though. More on this in another blog ... Make sure you check out the video at the end. It's absolutely delightful. I've got a few more days in the office so watch this space...
4. Special thanks too for all of your great suggestions on what I could do next too. Here are a few gems:

• Throw in mining all together and buy the IGA at Dongarra
• Start an all women mining junior - any all-women tech company shells out there?
• Champion for geeks
• Champion for women engineers
• Champion for working mums
• Champion for geeky, women engineer mums who aren't actually that geeky, dont work and not very good mothers...
• Travel
• Spend more time with my kids (they clearly haven't met my kids or have suggested an evil curse on me)
• Lie on the beach and read books
• Write the great Australian novel
• Just go out and get another job and start raging for the machine again (any machine - the propellerhead's suggestion)

I'll keep you posted.

 

I did it... I resigned... Now what?

Ideas please. I am serious. Having never quit a perfectly reasonable, well paid job before with no other plans, I'm open to inspiration from all quarters.

There are no specific reasons for resigning but there are lots of things I am mightily excited about avoiding when I leave the office... 

Send through your ideas, offers and advice but only if you can assure me that I'll NEVER ever have to utter any of the words listed below:

1. Syndicate - I'm just a simple engineer. Syndicate will always be a noun for me. i.e. I will form a lotto syndicate. We will win millions and then we'll all buy big yachts and sail away. I know technically, you can use it as a transitive verb (??) but why? It sounds so ridiculous. Why don't we just say, "Go out and sell your ideas Lucy". Rather than, "you need to syndicate this plan..."
2. Learnings - It's not a word OK! Just don't use it. Ever! This abomination has become so prevalent that there is a whole generation of professionals who need to know that lessons come from what we learn.
3. Don't boil the ocean - Just say "your scope is too big". Or possibly, as Daryl Kerrigan would say "tell him he's dreaming".
4. Socialise - Not the fun sort. Where we socialise with colleagues over a few drinks.The 'socialise' I refuse to accept is when it's used like 'syndicate'. eg "Lucy - I think you should socialise this new process". We socialise our pets so they don't rip each others ears off in the park. Is it really necessary in the office?
5. Take it offline - It simply means that you want to postpone addressing an issue. Unless of course you are referring to actually taking something offline (Facebook, LinkedIn, DoS attack???)

I know this will be painful and offensive reading to some. I can hear the concern: "If I cant socialise my ideas and syndicate them with my peers, I might just end up boiling the ocean, miss out on critical learnings and taking my brilliant plans offline. How could I survive in the office then?"

So adiós my corporate buzzword little friends.

10 big (and little) dreams for 2013...

I have loooooooooved my Christmas break. Almost everything has been perfect. 

The food - plentiful 

The drinks - cold and frequent. The sun is well over my yard arm by 11am...

The company - fun and interesting. 

The weather - awesome. Feeling quite smug at Ledge Point while Perth swelters.

The boogie boarding - refreshing and life affirming.

The novels - weird yet engaging in the case of Cormac Macarthy's, The Crossing. And confusing - if anyone has any idea what happened at the end of 'A Sense of an Ending's, ending, please fill me in...

I've had time to read the papers too. If you you look carefully between the ads in the holiday papers, you'll see 'top 10's', 'hot trends', and 'year in pictures' passing themselves off as news while the journos do like the rest of us, and lie around drinking and eating for a few days. Today's blog builds on this fine cop out. 

So here are my 10 dreams for 2013...

1. I dream of giving up screaming at the kids and working on hiding places instead: Screaming at my kids makes no difference. None at all. My head can explode in rage and all I get back is a quizzical look, the briefest of pauses and then a continuation of the whinge, whine, demand, recalcitrance that set off the aforementioned rage. Instead I'm building a good list of hiding places in the house. Not for them - but for me. If they can't find me, they won't drive me crazy. The washing line and their own bedroom is working so far...
2. I dream of applying some of the few things I have learnt about lean and six sigma... The team still has it all over me but I occasionally pick up some useful titbits and hope to perform QCO's on getting the kids out the door in the morning, 5S'ing the leftovers in the fridge, PPS'ing the reasons why my kids don't listen.
3. I dream of supporting the wonderful women in mining. There are no sharp elbows among the women I work with and those I know in the industry. Seriously. None. There are a few that I treat with caution only to discover that they are supportive, generous, great leaders and shaping the mining industry. They all deserve support, encouragement and development.
4. I dream of encouraging the wonderful men of mining too...The leaders I most respect and admire consistently mention growth and opportunities when talking about their organisations and teams. 
5. I dream of organisations that promote diversity and flexibility as the main levers for engagement, sustainable decision making and business success. 
6. I dream of workplaces, families and communities that look after each other. Mental Health issues are real and serious. We need to listen more and support each other. 
7. I dream about geeks being recognised and thanked for their contributions to society and business. So that one day our kids will aspire to be great engineers or scientists rather than pop stars or sportsmen.
8. I dream of happiness and health for my family and friends. 
9. I dream of making the perfect paper aeroplane and drawing great dinosaurs to bring a years worth of smiles to my two little men. 
10. And finally, I will learn to say 'cheers' in 10 different languages, including Hindi, Mandarin and Indonesian. Being able to toast or say thanks to anyone, anywhere will always be valuable.

Happy New Year my friends. I look forward to sharing 2013 with you.

Cheers

Lucy